Truth Hurts .

I've never really had things handed to me in life. Maybe the little things, like what mommy does to help out. But when it comes to getting things i want, i've always had to work for them.

Hard .

But i'm a slacker. I feel like an idiot for sitting here and admitting it but it's true. Id rather procrastinate things then do them from the start. I really do live for the moment, but sometimes that's no good enough. I understand now more than ever the quote of;

'Living in the present, now you're futures out of sight."

I feel more lot now than ever. All i know is where i came from, & where i've been but i dont know where im going. Idk what i want .. but i used to.

& that's what bothers me the most, i feel like the older i get, the less i know.

Shouldn't it be the other way around ?

Shouldn't knowledge come with age ?

instead im left stranded in this two horse town with nowhere to go and no one to love.

how is that possible ?

i'm told everyday 'i've never met somebody as wild as you' ... 'what would i do without you in my life?' .. 'i bet you'd be the perfect girlfriend, you say the most perfect things'

maybe everyones fronting . i hate fronting. id rather you avoid me then front me.

i want the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

All or nothing, not bits and pieces. it's juss how i am .

I fight for you, daily . and you know, but you dont care .

at least i dont think you do .

i've never understood the, 'give it time' concept. At all .

The time is always now, and never later.

Because everything is different later, its not THEN.

then again, im open minded, and some things only make sense to me.

I try to see everything from all point of views,

so they can't say i singled someone out.

Or forgot part of the story and i play this out over and over in my head

and none of these scenarios end bad

but i guess they do in your head.

How can you be there for somebody .. but only in certain ways ?

Shouldn't you be there regardless ? no matter what? Weather or storm ?

It juss doesn't add up.

These laws .. these rules .. who made them up?

Why do we follow them?

Why do we have to have a title? Why not juss be 'together' ?

no .. its gotta be 'dating' .

wtf.

seriously ? you're bullshitting me .

and it took me this whole damn blog to realize it.