Seriously , why ?

I hate being overwhelmed. It makes me panic. If too many things are happening at once, i just break down. Or i walk away like i didnt see anything. & of course i would live the life thats always overwhelming with bullshit.

Why is that? Why is it that those little things that bother you, irritate you, and send you over the edge, tend to ALWAYS happen to you?
Why do i hate the sound of weedwackers, yet i hear them everywhere?
Why can't i use a public bathroom without turning the sink on so others can't hear me go? yet i ALWAYS get the urge to pee in public?
why is that?
i really dont know, and i probly never will but its pissing me off not knowing.

i hate not knowing
i'm a nosey person, aside from my big nose.
and i like to figure things out and know whats going on.
but when i cant figure it out .. uhhh .

This school is more of a jail.
Minus the creepy old men in shackles, and barbed wire fences.
the food sucks, every building stinks, deans watch you like you've got a bomb in your book bag, and we have the strictest dress code.

Maybe BHS is in partner with the Marion County Jail .. ?
Why is it so shitty here?
the middle school isn't like this, why is it like this here?

So last night i sat on the phone with my friend for 3 1/2 hours. Listening to her rant about something her 'best friend' did. & at the end of it all she counted on ME to decide the fate of their friendship.
A simple question like , "should i still be her friend?"
is more complex than it sounds.

When times get weird, & you can't decide for yourself,
why do we turn to others to do it for us?
Laziness? Curiosity? Lack of responsibility? why is that?
We would rather someone else choose our fate, then ourselves.

I'm procrastinating my online class, Algebra 2. It wasn't easy the first time i took it, and it's only gotten harder since then.
Why aren't we built with these things in our brains?
Why must me teach ourselves these lessons,
yet other things come natural?
Calculating a simple slope intercept form problem takes nearly 20 minutes for me to figure out,
yet were born with this knowledge of stupid things.
Like 'Hey im hungry, i should eat." or "My leg hurts, i should find out why."
Why is that?
Why waste common sense, and natural knowledge on such bullshit and hype?
Why not come into the world with more than that?
We would probly have more succesful people in this world,
and deffinatly get more out of life.

but who am i to decide this right?
im not god .